How to…… “The Beginning”
Hello All,
In an effort to add unique and useful content to this site I have decided to create a “How to… “series. I understand that there are plenty of places to go on the web to for this type of information; however I believe that the information that I plan to post will truly be “unique” to a majority of the users who read it. With that being I said I will write my first “How to…” article:
*Please note: All of my How to… articles are written from personal experiences. Seriously!
How to do a Class Presentation… WASTED!
Required Materials:
- Must Be 21 yrs old* Do not attempt this unless you are at least 21 years old
- College Classroom that is walking distance from your home or apt.
- Group Presentation
- Care Free Attitude
- Breathe Mints or Gum
- Shot Glass
- Bottle of Taaka Vodka
Taaka Vodka as close as you can get to Grey Goose for $6.50
Now that you know everything that is required for this to work I will give you step by step instructions:
Step 1: Wake up @ 7 am. Drive to nearest liquor store. Purchase a fifth of Taaka Vodka.
Step 2: Drive Home. Take out a Shot glass. Pour the Vodka into the shot glass. Drink shot. Gag a little. Then shake it off.
Step 3: Pour a Second Shot. Turn on the shower. Contemplate what the hell you are doing. Then take the shot.
Step 4: Take your shower. Dry off. Pour Third Shot. Feel the warm alcohol soothe your empty stomach.
Step 5: Get dressed for your presentation. Pour 2 more shots. Wait for your friend to get there to take a shot with you and then walk to class. Est. wait time 15 mins.
Step 6: Friend says no to shot. Take both shots yourself. Pour one for the walk to class. Drink last shot just before stepping onto school property. Put shot glass in back pocket.
Step 7: Don’t talk to anybody. Take Breathe mint. Walk into class like normal. Don’t trip on the front row of desks.
Step 8: Go up to the front of the class when your group is called. Take your place. Try not to sway back and forth and don’t mention to your group how wasted you are in front of teacher.
Step 9: Try to give the presentation without slurring your words. Take questions. Yell at the “smart ass” girl in the front of the class who is asking the most ridiculous questions in the world because she actually read the book and listened to the presentation.
Step 10: Calmly answer any question your professor may have. Leave the class with an “A”!
I truly hope this is helpful to anyone who would need more information on: “How to do a Class Presentation… WASTED!”
Enjoy!
