In an effort to add unique and useful content to this site I have decided to create a “How to… “series. I understand that there are plenty of places to go on the web to for this type of information; however I believe that the information that I plan to post will truly be “unique” to a majority of the users who read it. With that being I said I will write my first “How to…” article:
*Please note: All of my How to… articles are written from personal experiences. Seriously!
How to do a Class Presentation… WASTED!
Required Materials:
Must Be 21 yrs old* Do not attempt this unless you are at least 21 years old
College Classroom that is walking distance from your home or apt.
Group Presentation
Care Free Attitude
Breathe Mints or Gum
Shot Glass
Bottle of Taaka Vodka
Taaka Vodka as close as you can get to Grey Goose for $6.50
Now that you know everything that is required for this to work I will give you step by step instructions:
Step 1: Wake up @ 7 am. Drive to nearest liquor store. Purchase a fifth of Taaka Vodka.
Step 2: Drive Home. Take out a Shot glass. Pour the Vodka into the shot glass. Drink shot. Gag a little. Then shake it off.
Step 3: Pour a Second Shot. Turn on the shower. Contemplate what the hell you are doing. Then take the shot.
Step 4: Take your shower. Dry off. Pour Third Shot. Feel the warm alcohol soothe your empty stomach.
Step 5: Get dressed for your presentation. Pour 2 more shots. Wait for your friend to get there to take a shot with you and then walk to class. Est. wait time 15 mins.
Step 6: Friend says no to shot. Take both shots yourself. Pour one for the walk to class. Drink last shot just before stepping onto school property. Put shot glass in back pocket.
Step 7: Don’t talk to anybody. Take Breathe mint. Walk into class like normal. Don’t trip on the front row of desks.
Step 8: Go up to the front of the class when your group is called. Take your place. Try not to sway back and forth and don’t mention to your group how wasted you are in front of teacher.
Step 9: Try to give the presentation without slurring your words. Take questions. Yell at the “smart ass” girl in the front of the class who is asking the most ridiculous questions in the world because she actually read the book and listened to the presentation.
Step 10: Calmly answer any question your professor may have. Leave the class with an “A”!
I truly hope this is helpful to anyone who would need more information on: “How to do a Class Presentation… WASTED!”
So im having dinner with my relatives, and the topic of octomom comes up. honestly, ive never been so heated about such a topic before in my life. I’ve read whatever articles were posted up on CNN.com, ive watched a couple of the shows on Dr. Phil where he had her on, and then the follow-up shows with the lawyers and representatives from Angels in waiting. Since then, i havent really paid much attention to the subject, but i remember watching news last week or so, where the headliner says “stay tuned to why so and so had a change of heart towards octomom.” This person was totally against her but is now feeling for her…I didnt watch the clip. But, damn man, i feel octomom is just f*** up. Her children, the six children she already has….are all gonna feel pretty lonely. Octomom’s time is gonna be spread out too thin to take care and nurture all her children.
If it was any other family, a family who is able to support themselves, then maybe i’d feel different. She cant provide for them. She couldnt provide for her original 6 children. The only way shes doing it now is probably taking all the money she’s getting from publicity. But hey, whatever works right?
While I was in high school the cool thing was if you were down or not. Meaning if you would commit to doing something or if you have proven yourself to be so. I have a friend that is very emotional and isn’t the most rational thinker.
So he was driving on the freeway just going somewhere to hang out. My other buddy was in the passenger seat and just talking. Then all of a sudden they started talking shit to eachother. Just outright going at it making jokes about eachothers mom and just anything they could. The line that tipped it off was when my buddy in the passenger seat told the driver “You aren’t down!”. The driver just smirked and said “Im down homie”. The passenger said it again very condescendingly “NO, you aren’t down.” This set off the driver to get angry and very upset. He said “Im down, you just don’t know what down is!”. So the driver said “If you are down you will crash your car into the center divider. The driver gave one look at the passenger and turned his car straight into the center divider. I could not believe what just happened, who is their right mind would crash their car on purpose to prove that they are down.
So my friend proved he was down and now his dumb ass had to explain to people what happened to his car.
The other day I was hanging out at Starbucks in Little Tokyo. Aside from the everyday bums asking for money and cigarettes or the weirdo artsy fartsy person talking to themselves this made the night special. So we were just talking then all of a sudden a cop car flips around and starts racing towards the corner and before we know it he is in the parking lot with his gun pulled along with 3 other cars. Continue to more »
